The internet is full of awareness and breaking stereotypes but how much of that online positivity, maturity is incorporated into our everyday real life? A lot of us are still afraid of helping strangers. We first judge the race, color, sexuality and morality of someone before we see the human in them. We take kindness for flirtation. We judge a young mother for letting her child cry because she s tired while we laud online posts. We function around fear of tomorrow whilst caring less about twenty years into the future. We care more about achievement than the effect it leaves on our peace, morale and our world. We function on desire in secrecy and pretend to be grown up outside. Do something good and you have to explain yourself. We question the morality of the weak while we celebrate arrogance of the powerful. Are you and me, regardless of age doing the right thing? Is this the madness we are going to teach our kids?
A little story on how we function these days :
There is an old abandoned building in a crowded town that can either be re-used as a shelter, apartment, grocery store or warehouse or can be demolished.
Most people ignore the building largely and keep complaining about the lack of space in the town. They keep teasing each other about their inability to make money because of lack of opportunity but nobody does anything about it. When little children and others question the purpose of the structure, they are told, “That is the way things are, just do what you do, this is what we did and don’t think too much”. These people who have a say-so, do not let anyone do anything, get jealous easily, shame the under-achievers but tag themselves, the “KNOW-IT-ALLS” , the “MATURE” ones in the society.
In short, I hate the way most people in their 40s today think and thought and act. I hate the things they say even more. So does that make me immature? Read on and decide.
In my years of existing (that is all I have done anyway) I have met only a handful of people who are kind, who do their duty religiously, who are not critical or judgmental of others and are humane whenever possible. Among the worst people I have met, from classroom to family, if I could publicly mention the things they did to others, in an attempt to make them realize how bad they are at living, I would. BUT… I can’t. That would be immature. We shall all keep our struggles to ourselves and never speak about them, because that is maturity. Wait.
What is maturity? Learning how to give opinions about everything, learning to mingle with the crowd, suppress all emotions and act calm in public? I don’t think so.
Maybe it is true that we never really grow up, but only learn how to act in public. Sometimes I feel I act differently under pressure and don’t exactly follow the same things I teach my child. I felt grappled to even realise that I am very anxious and conscious of being watched in public while teaching my son to explore the world, of which I am still uncertain. Social media has only magnified what we already have in our culture or perhaps even human nature- the feeling of inadequacy and want of being accepted. Despite people breaking stereotypes everywhere equality and maturity has still a long way until it can reach everyday, real life dialogue.
The nature of the things we want as a child change as we grow older but the need to be appreciated and heralded remains the same. So again, do we really grow up?
The answer is tricky because it is very personal. Only I would know how grown up I am now from who I was because it happens only in my head. And like cancer, it can relapse. Hard times, failure or criticism can send someone back to being the person they wanted to grow out of. In earlier days, when someone wanted his inner journey to be deep and complete, he did it without having to explain why he hadn’t achieved the things others hadn’t. But today, you seem to have to achieve something inorder to simply exist in society, mostly because food is not free, but that is a topic for another day. You are afraid of your parents, your parents are afraid of your relatives, your relatives are afraid of their secrets so they ask you as many questions as possible and the cycle goes on and on, until you have grandchildren or until someone questioning you, you know passes away. We all know, that we are headed towards a pointless destination satisfying only our FEARS along the way.
There is another quote that goes: We remain stuck in that age where we received least love. As philosophical as it sounds, there is a lot of psychology to it. There is a popular “Need hierarchy triangle”. Unless we don’t achieve the needs in tier 3, we can’t cross over to tier 2. The simplest example is when you have had a strict or abusive parent. No matter how much educated you get, how far you travel, when presented with the same stimulus at 28, you respond how you did when you were 8. Getting over any type of trauma is a Himalayan task because in our society, we celebrate perfection, we are not allowed to be hurt or embarrassed. That was until people began speaking up and finding like minded people around the world. You can tell a forum member, your struggles that you can’t tell your cousin. Still though, all around the world, humans are humans’ first and last problem. Thankfully both internet forums and social media groups have allowed everyone regardless of their influence a voice. We have definitely changed into a more positive, informed, aware, broad-minded, supportive community online despite what the secret societies if any wanted to morph us into (Just saying). But to materialise the good wave into everyday action requires us simply to stop judging those who do it first.
Peace and light.