Lessons from being around husband

img_0527.jpgHe holds an MBA degree. But I don’t think all the skilfulness  comes from education.

All through my years ,I read countless self help books and the only thing that happened was I helped authors get richer .Never in all my life I understood what was wrong with the way I dealt things. Well that is until you watch someone daily.  No amount of inspiration is effective- not to me – till you see principles in action.

Dear mr.Prabhu, if you are reading this, I should tell you I am very grateful for having you.I have been thoroughly impressed many a time but still am waiting for that “Head over heels -in-love” moment. It may or may not come in an arranged marriage but thanks for helping me share some of your No-bull-shit life lessons with readers.

Now presenting “The Top life  lessons” from my husband.

1)Take risks rarely:

That about  saves unnecessary waste of energy so you can use it when and where you really need it. Other times- play it safe.

2)Be nice to the boss, the colleague and the janitor- with equal emphasis:

Everyone matters. Someday, any one can be your saviour or friend. But it’s not for popularity that you be nice because people will figure it out anyway.

Shying away from a basic good morning is a no-no. Buy people coffee. Remember people. Attend calls ( unless it is an annoying customer on Sunday morning) and  leave good memories associated with you. Never think its too much to show politeness. Which also means you treat people on HIGHER GROUND confidently with niceness. People are ultimately people. Right?

3)Never complicate things

I thought I was improvising until I realised how much I complicated things.You buy milk and eggs. Not milk, eggs and more milk and more eggs and frozen food for fear of “Day After Tomorrow” class storms on a dry day.

4)Do not see obstacles as emotional setbacks

You break your nail- trim it. Don’t break your nail and ponder over the internet for sheer lack of luck and vitamin deficiency. Forget about nails for another few weeks. Move on. It’s just a Goddamn nail.Prioritise problems.

5)Speak less , listen and ask the right questions- everywhere

It surprised me at the number of friends he made and how less he actually talked.

Speak only when needed – listen- about them- an act which strengthens relationships both professional and personal by avoiding unnecessary argument and out of bound subjects. It projects you as less of a critic and more of an analyst and listener. Build Trust. Get business ✅ done Which is all the better.

6) Value your money:

There was a time when we had ordered a mobile phone holder for a relatively small price. He Wasnt satisfied with it and we could have kept after a few adjustments . He chose return-and-refund.

“My money must reap satisfaction if I choose to spend it ” he wasn’t afraid to look like a miser though he spends for things he likes. When you have an offer online? Why pick the showroom with value added tax?

7)Everyone  need not know everything

I never got updates about the day. Neither did his mom or friends unless they asked. I, finding it fishy asked why he wouldn’t share anything. He replied that  it was a very regular day . If something bad happened he didn’t want to ruin the evening reliving the memory. If something good or funny happened he would tell me. I never found it appreciable for a year. But when I implemented the same, I understood that it put me at an unbelievable decision making freedom and mental clarity .

It is a trait of highly decisive and independent people. It doesn’t mean you don’t love someone it means you needn’t let them in on everything and scramble thinking unless it concerns them. It tests and builds trust around silence. What is a relationship when there isn’t an obligation to explain everything ? Works for me. Thanks! !

8)When angry -be quiet. For hours.

When you say things in anger, you get back ugly responses that would take weeks to forget and more weeks to undo the damage done and trust severed- Not a good time investment or energy policy.

9) If you really like something- buy it or go do it.

Or find ways to. Build enough trust that someone will not hesitate to offer you a loan. And definitely repay. Want to ride far- do it without announcing it- (and come back one ☝️ piece) Never blame another for being a dream-shatterer. It’s up to you.

10) Think business- but with ethics

Loan out. Lend. Settle. Recover your money. Buy people lunch.  Make deals that makes the person feel- “It’s pleasure doing business with you Mr/Ms”. What goes must come and what comes must go.

11) Set limits with everyone

He will probably regret letting me learn this. Not giving another the power to affect you completely empowers you, makes you temporarily immortal.

12)when late- find the shortest way to get things done

Don’t let work and deadline kill you.

13) Be yourself. Live like today is the last.

that also implies you stay humble by not taking anything too seriously- not even yourself .

14) Sleep is meditation. Sleep like a baby.

Love sleep more than your spouse.



Published by Shrutthi Shivaswamy Prabhakaran

Documenting unique people |Minimal living |Design harmony and other things that bother me

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