Do not kill me, do not kill me

It screamed

What was the “it” will I now explain

Born for one, born for that one alone

Like a birthmark in my soul


Birth tied me to the gravity

Of my other half (or so I think/ So I thought for eighteen years)

Somewhere where he or she would be born

Like the rippled waves on the surface

Of a lake rather serene

The lake of events

The lake of time

Events keep pushing me towards

Bring him here

A nucleus of events

Events that would justify why

Atoms decided to give life

To my body

And be the container

Of the soul

That is very real

For it records events

Even after the mortal body

Finds no warmth to spread

As living

Somewhere I know

Deep inside

Somebody born for me

Not because I am a woman

And I need a man

But because I am a being

And I need the other half

I do not know if

He exists

Or I imagine him to exist

And that imagination inspires my walk

So technically

He must exist

To cause and event to happen

The biggest event that happens

Is that tug of the cavity of my

Beating heart when I ponder

Somebody around for me

Years and years searching

Finally knowing

There was going to be no together

With Many claiming they were “him”


I’d know it… deep inside

Though my intuitions

Have rather backfired

I’d rather let him not come

Than let you wrong one

Near what I hold sacred

The bond of the soul.

Do not give me she pleaded

A state worse than separation or rather


A state where I know he won’t come

But a state where I have to accept somebody else

The body mind and soul are connected

And if the soul rejects the other , like rejecting

The wrong graft of an organ , during a

“Transplant” what they do on Gaia

My soul will suffer

An immortal death

Like hell comes down to me

When nobody can notice I am dead

I am done screaming

I’d put up a last fight with all that I have

Its okay if I die

For its not suicide

But like a ritual that protects Chastity

Of the soul

You may find me special

But If I do not

Do not dare near me

For a hurt and wounded animal

Knows no mercy to spare

In the face of arrogance.

I envy and praise

Those who embraced

The warmth of the heart

That once wanted the other

Fortunate are those

Who held hands

Once and for all

With the One they love

What is life yet without acceptance of defeat

When I know I am done

I have to accept

And live for the womb

That gave me a body to contain my soul

And that protects a rebel

A prodigal daughter

Till date

You too

Are my other half..

Not because I love you dear mother

But because I am ever in debt.

But I sometimes think

Rather selfishly

“If the right to live denied is one”

“The right to DIE denied is another”

But I have to move about

Like I am alive

Not to pain anyone ever


Who hears the cries

Of the dumb?

Not many cry like me

So I’d rather look mad

Even if somebody does

Who can help?

I’d rather handle this

All by myself.

I curse myself

For not being able to think normal

All by myself

Rather All by myself


Published by Shrutthi Shivaswamy Prabhakaran

Documenting unique people |Minimal living |Design harmony and other things that bother me

One thought on “The SOUL MATE

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